Lean in close…..
I don’t hate the winter, I don’t hate this winter……..shhhhhhh
It did not start out that way.
Not at all.
I won’t go into the hell that was this last winter, the daily fight, the seemingly never ending bitter cold…..no, I won’t.
Somewhere along the way, I looked out a window, I stared, mesmerized at the large white flakes, had I seen the snow before?
I could feel it, from the shelter if my home, I feel the winter.
It was divine.
Let it go…..
I closed my eyes and shed the misery.
I dove into the cold.
Coming up for air, opening my eyes.
Safe from the driving wind and snow
Here in my home.
I no longer demand the heat of summer.
Once again, I am thankful for the winter.
I am here
Feeling the bittersweet love of a lesson hard learned.
This Angel and I are rarely separate.
Even now she sits on my lap, Tilly snuggling close. We are on the couch, watching Martha Speaks on the TV. Martha will tell you what it is all about it.
Martha, a cozy blanket and two snuggly babies.
It doesn’t get better then this.
I have been waiting for January to end. I have been waiting since November and before all this craziness began. There is no magical something that will fix everything on February first, indeed things might just be worse, but making it through January, that has been my goal. I did not want to just survive though I wanted to find something everyday to be happy about, to be thankful for, I wanted to to find beauty in my trials.
I channeled in my inner Pollyanna.
And you know what?
It has worked.
I am happy.
I may be wading through what seems a never-ending road of horse crap but the view, the view is incredible.
Right now, in this very moment, life is good.
And I am willing to bet that the next moment is going to be even better.
I was going to blog.
That is what I was going to do.
But I just wrangled two
toddlers to bed
and the cats have
stolen my writing chair.
I was going to blog.
I was going to blog yesterday
and the day before that.
I really was.
But it was late
I was tired.
I had nothing to say.
I had too much on my mind.
I read instead.
I fell asleep.
I was going to blog tonight.
I really was gonna.
Life refuses to molder in place, so my spirit animal has a tendency to change every year or two, this years was…….an ostrich.
Not my first choice, but upon reflection this has been the year for my inner ostrich to come awkwardly bounding out on gangly legs.
Let me ‘splain.
No we don’t have time…
Let me sum up…..
I have looked cross all year, stuck my head in the sand (under my covers really) and/or ran around kicking folks in the shin. Like, really hard.
Ya, I am really hoping for an upgrade next year, like a Lab or Golden Retriever, something cute with fantastic people skills.
Christmas was not in anyway what I hoped……it was, as always, better. Because of the eight most wonderfully awesome children and a sweet husband who believes in magic, today was brilliant.
Thanksgiving was awesome, like really, really awesome. I feel that Thanksgiving is the one holiday where it is essential that as many people attend as possible, pack them in! Especially children, I cannot imagine a holiday without children.
And my children had a marvelous time, it has been a long year with, frankly, strained family relationships and I wanted, for my children’s sake, something normal and fun and completely drama-less. And for the most part I got that and I am grateful. I am grateful for my husband and many nephews and and Nate for coming over and helping to insulate our living room floor Thanksgiving day, I am grateful for the feast that was slaved over by Sis. A, and my sister in-laws. I am grateful for Pie. Yummy, yummy pie.I am grateful for piles of cousins and that Brindle survived all the love and attention that was showered on her.
“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite – only a sense of existence. Well, anything for variety. I am ready to try this for the next ten thousand years, and exhaust it. How sweet to think of! my extremities well charred, and my intellectual part too, so that there is no danger of worm or rot for a long while. My breath is sweet to me. O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.”
― Henry David Thoreau
Me, after eating way too much and then eating more.