When I got married to my Joffy, I ended a  relationship with Hellman’s Mayo. It was all about the budget, Why buy Miracle Whip and Hellman’s, waste of money, or so I thought. Then I had a sandwhich last year with Hellman’s and I almost cried*. I had been eating the nastiest stuff on the planet and I was done!

Hellman's REAL mayo. REAL, people, the REAL god of condiments. Roar.

I am eating a burger with tons of Hellman and Ketchup! Yum!

Joff has been working so much lately, when he came in to tuck the kids in the other night Caleb said bye instead of goodnight. Tonight he is off to the Special Olympics and he will not be home till tomorrow, possibly Tuesday. I hope he comes home tomorrow. Because the babies have a dental appointment Tuesday morning and I hate dental appointments even if they are not mine. I am extremely romantic. I tell Joff all the time how I could not live without him. Who would do the dishes?

My poor Joffy.

Funny how when I have so much to say I find myself without words.

K~

*I cried, it was in a little diner and I choked up. People were looking, I was all, Oh my, oh, oh, sniffle, sniffle, what magical ingredient has made this BLT heaven on earth, sniffle, sniffle, mmm. I moaned and made disgusting eating food noises and if I had not been me I would have been very humilated. But I was me, so it was all good. Oh so Good.

I survived three long miserable weeks of the flu, everyday was hell and I mean that, I have not felt that dead and utterly useless for a very, very, long time. But I survived and I feel a million times better, Joff and I went out to look at a van yesterday and I actually enjoyed myself, it was not me dragging myself around praying for my bed. So yea for getting better. And we bought the van. A 15 passenger 1 ton Dodge, low miles and it was previously used as a church van so I am feeling pretty good about it. Now we save for a car, something that gets excellent gas milage.

Joff gets his W2 this Saturday, very anxious to see if we made our income goal for 2011, pretty sure we did, but confirmation will be sweet! Things are working out well for Joff at work, the state investigation is going well and several supervisors have been fired or moved to different parts of the company. It is such a relief, because the stress that Joff was bringing home from work was not healthy. Also I just learned that Joff might get another small raise soon and that will help us meet our income goal for this year, crossing my fingers!

Nothing on the house. There just has not been time for it. I am glad we started, I am glad that it is there and we are moving along however slow.

Tilly Woo Wiggins is crawling and jabbering and eating us out of house and home. She is Joy. I love my baby so much.

Caleb now, he cracks me up. We have three space heaters, one is new the other two are older and I turn them on in the morning to help heat the bedrooms and living room a bit before the kids wake up. Caleb woke up earlier then expected this morning and I heard him wander into the girls and say, wow, too hot! then on into his room and he did not even stop, too cold he muttered and into the livingroom, he plopped himself down and said just right.

It feels amazing to be alive. I guess I did not realize how sick I was until it was all over.

That is all.

~K

But not the fun, shuffling kind. More like a couch potato zombie. Without the couch and potato.

I make so much sense.

There are seven children that demand my attention, but I am full up. Exhausted, sick, miserable. I drag myself through the day, trying to be happy for my kids, trying to be alive only to crawl into bed at night and find myself unable to sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

Sharyn and Gary showed up today with Pizza and snacks for the kids and I almost cried, the idea of having to cook was more then I could take.

Joff has to work and work overtime. So it is me. All me.

And that is enough self pity for the day.

Odie, let’s talk effort versus return here. You know, you can still lead a pointless life without all that running around.
Garfield

“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” – Douglas Adams.”

I used so much hairspray that I feel personally responsible for global warming.
–Dusty Springfield  ( I have nightmares of aqua net )

I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: “Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant.
–Dean Martin (wow, it is uncanny)

If all the world’s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
–Paul Beatty

K~

I wrote three posts over the last two days. They were consigned to the save draft bin, as the time is not right to share them I think. Letting bits and pieces of myself spill out can be very hard.

Today I am home. Again. Joff and the children are off to church and I am sitting her snuggled up in bed wishing I could drink an entire bottle of Theraflu. Joff even took the baby, because he is an amazingly awesome dad and because he is an amazingly awesome husband. Joff, I love you. And I really do feel bad about missing church. Again.

I bounce all over the place, from feeling like I have the worst case of the flu ever, to feeling like sunshine and roses and then on over to crying like the world is burning all around and we are all doomed or crying because I saw another adorable puppy on pinterest. Which is a different sort of crying. In all other words I am a wreck.  The first trimester sucks big time. I am desperately trying to pull myself together, taking life one day at a time.

Insert sappy but inspirational poem here.

Gosh darn that theraflu is tempting me!

Elli made an snow elephant yesterday, so very adorable.

Katie can not swallow a pill to save her life. Not one cut in half or quarters or wrapped up in peanut butter, but she can draw, this is one she did in Paint on the computer:) I am trying to convince her to allow me to post a fox picture she did the other day, but it will take time. Katie is shy about her work:(

Joff has found me a another 15 passenger van to go and look at this week. We get to drive an ark. Yippee.

Chantelle is on her way to creating havoc and mayhem. She can now pull herself to a stand, when sitting her down I have to be careful there is nothing near by or she will try to pull herself up! (Do you see her baby leg warmers? My first pair, finished finally and I am rather pleased with myself! Almost done with her second pair already:))

I am struggling with words and I keep having to move away from the keyboard (flu like symptoms, need I say more.) so I shall not throw this in the save bin but publish it, so I do not end this week without some bit of new hash.

Ta!

K~

So I wrote about how I have decided I am not the world traveling sort (ooooh, exciting!)

And that Caleb and I had discovered a smallish pond to skate on, we pretended to be deadly ninja’s, based on the thin cracks that followed me around I was more killer sumo wrestler.

Back to today.

Caleb was found behind the couch, munching on something, except he had nothing in his adorable little paws, I said, Caleb what are you doing, his reply, oh, you know, eating imaginary chicken. Maybe I should go grocery shopping?

And now I would like to talk about my bad habits. Most of which are also some of my favorite habits.

Sleeping. One might think that this would be a good thing, but according to Alice, who informed me today that I (me!) loved to sleep more then anything. Close Alice, but if I could perfect sleeping whilst eating chocolate we would have a winner.

Spending time on the computer. I am not sure this is as bad a habit as some like to claim. I spend more time then I should but not enough for my liking. No intervention required.

Junk food. Again, maybe not as bad as people think? I think it seems worse then it is because I do not eat three square meals a day. More like snacks, dinner and then a few more snacks. I do sometimes eat lunch and/or breakfast, most especially if  I am out or visiting and it is offered. Really, if it was a toss up between a tomato and a bag of chips? Tomato wins hands down. Iced milk or a pop? Iced milk, easy. Chocolate or anything else? Chocolate.

Not eating right. See above.

Laziness. I am not lazy, I am laid back. Pick your priorities kind of girl. That shelf that has not been dusted in two years  you ask? Why are you inspecting my shelves and really if you insist on doing so here is a duster thingy, still in the package. Have fun. ( I am sort of lazy, do you want to vaccum while you are at it?)

Consistency. Finally, a bad habit that really bugs the life out of me. I am not a consistent sort of soul, I have started and finished many things quite succesfully, but over all, starting and sticking with it, is not my fine point. This flaw is something I work on daily. (hmmmmm, maybe not so bad as I thought.)

Those are good enough for tonight. I adore visiting  my lesser self, so I shall return to it in the future.

Now to bed, before the angry cat comes back for a second try at the keyboard.

I don’t know who’s cat this is, but for there own safety I hope they never tried to bathe fluffykins again.

K~

I cleaned today. After making muffins and sausage for breakfast. I do not make breakfast as a rule, so that is a feat in of itself. Also don’t look too close, I cleaned, I didn’t, you know, clean.

Jumped back into school, by jumped I mean dipped in a toe. Language Arts for everyone. I also made the desicion to drop Elli from formal schooling. She is still so young and I cannot handle that work load when I need to be offering more to my older kids.

Chantelle has learned to twist and turn and squish her way across the floor. She is not crawling or anything but she requires a watchful eye. Tilly tries to eat sitting up, sleeps in spurts and can not stand to be still. There is so much life to get into and she is making plans for the day she can get those legs moving. God in Heaven help me. I have never had such an active baby!

I feel pretty good about the day. I mean I was eyes half closed all freaking day long. So tired! Between the pregnancy and the baby I am feeling a little more then sort of dead.

Oh hey,my eldest son turned 7!  Happy Birthday Everett! You might be Gormiti obsessed and rub off my bedtime kisses, but we at least agree that bananas are gross and chocolate is the best. Love you!

K~

2011, you won’t be missed. As they say, in hindsight it was a good experiance, but I would never, ever do it again.

2012, I have zero tolerance for any more crap. 2011 was a pain in the butt and I will not have any misbehavior out of you. That is your first and final warning.

K~

He is smart, sensitve and caring.

Everett loves a clean space, is obsessive about Gormiti and tolerates the adoration his younger siblings send his way.

I love the random hugs he gives me and his willingness to help out whenever asked.

Happy birthday, baby boy. I love you!

K~

August for two reasons:

1. My birthday is in August and that is when I am starting a new year,  a brand new age that will never come again and I need plenty of time to either screw it up or make it awesome.

2. I don’t need some bossy, drunk Holiday to dictate when I should resolve to eat right and make nice with the relatives, you know, just in case.

New Years eve is like a mob boss, but instead of breaking your legs when you have not lost 26 lbs by the middle of next week, he cripples you with agonizing guilt. I don’t run with that kind of crowd. No sir.

But this year, given new circumstances, I find myself pulling out my notebook and looking over my goals for year 28. And scratching out half of them. Scribbling in new ones. Amending others. Like:

1. Shower at least once a month.

2. Breathe deeply.

3. But not too deeply, if the shower is a still a few weeks off.

4. Buy a chocolate factory and move in.

5. Wash all the socks.

Wait, wrong year.

WoW! I did not do too badly that year…….

Ahhh okay here it is.

1. Buy a 15 passenger van and play chicken with at least one semi.

2. Stain and finish the floors in the new house. (Amendment, don’t get high on the fumes, dratted pregnancy.)

3. Teach the children something over the course of the 2011-2012 school year.

4. Eat more avacodoes.

5. Buy a pair of really cute boots.

6. Adopt a puppy and try not to cry when he chews up said cute boots.

7.  Buy a chocolate factory and move in.

8. Be nice. At least try.

A brand spanking new goal is a post a day for the next week. I miss my blog. I don’t have to be civilized here.

There are of course a whole slew more. But this post is about Christmas . Or something.

K~

I discovered this interesting bit of shockwave on Monday, after feeling like crud for a week or so and Chelle telling me that she had a dream that I was pregnant. I laughed at her, might have crossed myself and told her to pray it was not so.

Then I bought a pregnancy test because the mind games were killing me.

It was positive. In an annoying, happy, skippy, loud sort of way.

I took another the next morning.

Positive.

I called my midwife.

Help, I said.

Come right in. Now. She said.

The urgency and denial in her voice, matched mine. After all I had the paragard in in August.

We dropped the children off and made our way to the clinic.

Ultrasound confirmed both a teeny tiny little wee one and the IUD.

So.

I am about 5-6 weeks.

Congrats?

I hope so.

Even though I was all very much done having sweet little ones, apparently God has different ideas.

I am still too much in shock to sort out how I feel exactly, but happy is were I know I will end up, because children are wonderful blessings.

K~