Conflicting. Uncertainty, the better of two rights and the lesser of two evils, standing and facing it, the dark cloud that hides the light and the one way to go, or is there more then one way? Is the light even there or perhaps, perhaps the dark is not, do these twists and turns have meaning or are they random puzzles we inflict upon ourselves? I find life and all that happens quite intriguing, I dream sometimes that I am merely a rat in a maze, an insignificant rat, just another number for the tests that need to be written up before I am returned to my cage, sometimes I can swear I have been here and done all this living before, the smells of and sights and sounds I sometimes encounter bring back memories not my own. I have my faith, my beliefs, my own thoughts on the why and the how of life, these are firm and deeply rooted. Uncertainty and confliction, the desire for security and the horror that I might some day have it, these are also real and……………………………………………………..ignore my crazy ramblings. My brain is overly tired and doesn’t have a clue what it is saying:)
Today is Caleb’s birthday!!!!!!
My youngest is two. My darling little mama’s boy, my teeny tiniest, he was too small for his preemie clothes when we brought him home from the hospital and now he wears almost two sizes bigger then his age group, he is kind and loving, he is helpful and giving, he is a piece of my heart and soul and I celebrate every day I have with him.
Love you baby boy.