Conflicting. Uncertainty, the better of two rights and the lesser of two evils, standing and facing it, the dark cloud that hides the light and the one way to go, or is there more then one way? Is the light even there or perhaps, perhaps the dark is not, do these twists and turns have meaning or are they random puzzles we inflict upon ourselves? I find life and all that  happens quite intriguing, I dream sometimes that I am merely a rat in a maze, an insignificant rat, just another number for the tests that need to be written up before I am returned to my cage, sometimes I can swear I have been here and done all this living before, the smells of and sights and sounds I sometimes encounter bring back memories not my own. I have my faith, my beliefs, my own thoughts on the why and the how of life, these are firm and deeply rooted. Uncertainty and confliction, the desire for security and the horror that I might some day have it, these are also real and……………………………………………………..ignore  my crazy ramblings. My brain is overly tired and doesn’t have a clue what it is saying:)

Today is Caleb’s birthday!!!!!!

My youngest is two.  My darling little mama’s boy, my teeny tiniest, he was too small for his preemie clothes when we  brought him home from the hospital and now he wears almost two sizes bigger then his age group, he is kind and loving, he is helpful and giving, he is a piece of my heart and soul and I celebrate every day I have with him.

Love you baby boy.



Autumn, leaves changing color, sweaters pulled out of storage, swimsuits molding on the other side of the pool which still needs to be put away……

Home school is underway, wood is being stacked and stacked and stacked,hot soups with homemade bread, apples all day long and best of all acorn squash!

I have news and I have no time.

My children are growing up and time, time refuses to slow and life is in constant transition.



Newborn Heaven!

My brother James and my lovely sil Amanda have had there beautiful baby girl.

At 8 lbs 14 oz and 21 in she certainly made a big entrance!  I want to welcome my new niece Lilyan to the world and I can’t  wait   to see her and snuggle her and give her kisses. 

I am so excited my baby brother is a Papa!

I love you guys, Congratulations!