Picture Post

The moon looked so amazing the other night, I on the hand didn’t feel so amazing, so this was shot thru the window with my 35mm…..

Then I shot this with my80-200mm at 200mm again thru the window, I was laying on the couch at this point to get  a better angle, I do wish the clouds hadn’t floated away.




weight loss and exercise

I will preface this post by saying that I do need to lose weight, I am not overweight. I do have a bit of tummy flab but really I have six kids, give a girl a break.

I will also say that right now I need a huge distraction, something different and out of my norm.

After thinking it over, I realized that at the ancient age of 26 there is something I have never done. That I have heard every girl around me talk about and obsess over but I have never giving much thought too and that is weight loss and exercise. Those two things together.

Giving my penchant for food and doing as little as possible these two things provide a wonderful challenge. I was given a dubious go ahead by my doctor.

I have been researching weight loss and various exercise techniques and in the last three days I have been making a conscious effort to remember what I am supposed to be doing, this is only a very small effort, I am not seriously looking into a healthier lifestyle, just something different to do for a few weeks. So I have been going on a bike ride every morning ( I love biking, no sacrifice there) warm ups and cool downs, eating protein rich foods, concentrating on breakfast being the largest meal ( a yogurt and peanut butter toast, banana maybe and either milk or OJ) later peanut butter crackers and a glass of water (with ice and lemon because plain water is horrid) homemade brown rice with diced chicken and celery and onion for lunch and whatever is for dinner I will eat a small bit of.

 I did say I loved to eat, I do not like to eat anything (except for chocolate) in medium or large amounts, so eating small snack meals is easy for me. The key is to eat when you are hungry, eat foods that are filling and drink lots of water. Filling for me would be a teaspoon of peanut butter (right of the spoon:)) and a glass of water.

The other thing I have been doing is a body breaking 20 minutes of exercise, I won’t go into it right now, I can’t. I will cry if I do. So um obviously my muscles are not in shape because they have been yelling at me for the last two days and I am willing to sell my soul for a full body massage.

What have I learned in the last three days? That my previous thoughts on health and exercise are maybe a little dated, that some of this stuff isn’t to bad and that the first thing to go after my month is up is that 20 minute exercise crap.

(Natalie’s memorial stone finally came, pictures later)


Edit to say the whole weight loss comes in because the goal is to lose five pounds. If I don’t I won’t cry, if I do I will reward myself with a five pounds of chocolate (hahaha) and gain it right back again.


I exist for my children

I exist for my husband

I exist for my family

I exist for the sound of the rain pounding down on the roof

I exist for the end of them day, when the sun is sitting just right in the sky

I exist for my furbabies.

I exist for the sound of a shutter-click

I exist for the thrill of learning something new

I exist for chocolate

I exist for the chance to talk to friends

I exist and I live and I love. I laugh and I carry on. I give and I learn.

I wonder sometimes. Why.

I am lost.

And when I sleep I exist know more.

But sometimes I wake and exist again.

I exist to sleep.



Random #87

A hot spell for Maine, it has been above 95 degree’s the last couple of days.

I had a doctors appointment today. I don’t want to talk about it.

Some days are okay, some days are not.

It is 12:42, I am tired. I just watched CSI: MIAMI, frankly I don’t watch the show for the plot or characters, I watch because I ADORE the filming style and the season finale was simply gorgeous.

Sometimes lately I feel so incredibly lost.

My Katie catches frogs.

Alice and Felicity have taken to going on bike rides with Joff.

Elli made Caleb a sandwich today, it was so cute seeing her take care of her little brother.

I have become hopelessly addicted to orange sticks lately. Fortunately my budget will inspire me to quit in the very near future.

I have let go the last couple of weeks, there are so many things that just don’t mean as much anymore, there are so many things that mean so much more.

I don’t care how high the grass in my yard gets, I will not allow the goats in my yard. It will NOT happen.

Caleb loves to remind me how much he loves me all the time, in the middle of playing whatever he will look up and say “I love you mommy” and I want to cry each and every time.

We are taking a break from school, I thought the kids would be all happy but instead they keep asking when we are going to get back into school again. June 7. I made a count down calender for them. I so need this time to regroup.

Joff let me buzz his hair off today and that made me happy. I have gone into cutting mode. I should go down to the local recruitment office and volunteer.

I am desperately trying to find peace.

So many people have said that I am dealing with all of this sooooo well. They are sooooo wrong. I am not entirely sure but if they expect me to throw myself sobbing at there feet because some kind of  intense grief, um, there expectations will  never be met, just not that kind of person.

Alot of the time the ” you are handling this so well” comments make me angry. Well meaning and really what else is there to say but the requisite ” I am so sorry” It all just makes me glad I can crawl into bed and hide.

Signing off before my random # 87 turns into ranting ramble # 1269

  “Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same” (author?)