I have a tendency to try and be strong, in my life I learned pretty quick that if you can’t take the blows and keep standing you don’t survive. So I hold it in and I manage, but I keep falling with this one, I can be okay and be okay and be okay and then I can’t and I cry and I pray and I wish that this loss didn’t hurt like hell, that I could be tough. But I can’t. I lost my daughter. I have been praying and reading my scriptures, searching for an answer I know I won’t find, because sometimes there are no answers, sometimes there is just faith and hope. Sometimes that sucks BIG time.
If there must be a bright side, I will say that every article of laundry in my home is washed, dried, folded and put away, I didn’t think that was possible, also I finally got around to going through the big box of papers in the back room, I have a tendency to gather up the papers from all over the house and put them in a box for when I have time to sort them, apparently it has taken me a while to get to it as I found alot of paperwork in there from 2006.
We are taking a break from school, I was planning on this being our last week anyway, but I made a quick decision and decided to call in our vacation early. We will start back up again in June.
Time to get up.