Now we are Five

Elli has turned five. It never ceases to amaze me that my children are no longer babies.  With the exception of Chantelle of course.

Elenore is my sunshine, she is bright and happy and smart. When I asked her a few days ago what she thought she was good at, she replied ” jokes, I guess, because everyone says I am funny, but I hate trying to make them up’.

Elenore loves to learn, when she school is over, she grabs her book and does more. When we read, she asks me to help her read it and gets impatient if I try to do it for her.She loves to know.

Elenore is a wonderful big sister, she is always looking out for her baby brother and sister.

She loves music and dancing and laughter.

She is a ray of sunshine that never fails and I am ever so proud of my daughter and the wonderful person she is growing up to be.

Happy Birthday Princess Elli elephant, my shining light, Pumpkin spice, Punky doodle, Aku, Jilly-boo, Dora the explorer, Wumpy girl.



Just don’t think about it.

I have a love/hate relationship for food.

I really, really love it, but if I think to deeply about what food is and where it comes from (especially meats) I tend to want to throw up or never, ever eat again.

It doesn’t help that we grow a lot of veggies and raise critters that, theoretically, are supposed to be for food.

If an egg looks wrong or looks at me wrong I won’t bake or cook with it, I know that there is knowing wrong with it really but I also know that every time I bite into whatever I am cooking/baking I will see that egg and gag.  Same for meats, I try to cook or prep all my meats for the month in a two-day period, not to save time or whatever just so that I can take it out of the freezer, throw it in the oven/pan or dish and not think about it. I can take a huge bag of boneless chicken and come away with a cup of usable meat.

Converting to vegetarianism would be easy.

Sort of.

I love grains and veggies and some fruits, but even these things can make me queasy.

A seed is usually planted, immersed in a bed of manure  and/or fertilizer, right off the bat things are not going well in my opinion, then as they plant grows, it is covered in more manure and/or fertilizer and then rain and sun and dust and germs and bugs.


The bugs eat at the plant, use it for raising families and of course as an outhouse.

And murdering other bugs.

Do you see what I mean?

Sure I wash my fruits and veggies before eating them, but it doesn’t matter, the past sins of the plant cannot be forgotten easily.

I used to bury my head in the sand and eat tons of processed foods that resembled nothing at all like real food, but then I started watching documentaries, which led to researching sources, which led to blogs and forums and articles from obscure medical and science journals and all that led to was a firm mistrust in anything that did not resemble food.

Basically eating is a nasty business.

And yet it is still something I enjoy, when I can remove my weird food quirks to the freak room inside my head.

There are foods that I love and enjoy, fresh bread, just out of the oven, smothered in jam, chili and cornbread, pizza washed down with an ice-cold soda, taco’s with tons of guacamole and hot sauce, stews and soups and salads, the list goes on.

Oh and chocolate. I stay far, far away from any information on the whys and hows of chocolate, I love it so and would not that it become tainted.

In the end of course I eat, sometimes very reluctantly, sometimes not at all and sometimes with a  helping of thirds and fourths.

I jsut try not to think about it.