Goodbye to another day.

I am a coward. I hate to say goodbye, but who does? Or am I the only one? Well I know that I am not.
I realize of course that change is (can be) good, and it can be said that I have benefited greatly from life and the changes that I have witnessed in my life.
My husband will be 40 in a few years, no big deal really, but I had never thought about it. And he is not the same person I married. He has changed, although maybe not as much as I. I was so young when I married my Jofeaky. Now I have this little baby who reminds me so much of Katie and I cannot help but see the changes in myself as a parent. And that my Katie is growing up too quickly, the years went by too fast and soon Chantelle will be ten and my Kat will be an adult. Time really does seem to fly when you are in the midst of life. How many things have I done right? I won’t even begin to count the mistakes I have made. But I am glad for my mistakes, they have preached and lectured to me. This year has been a year of change, it has felt as though my whole world has slid into another time with no transition. It has been unsettling. I am waking up to the idea that soon there will be many more goodbyes and I am not ready. Not ready to let go. I only pray that God knows what he is doing, I can only pray for strength, strength to remember with love and strength to run into the sunshine of tomorrow with out the weight of yesterday and what ifs. I can Be. ~K


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