Uncategorized

Unsettled

I am tired.

Drained.

I am physically, emotionally, mentally worn out.

I think taking so much medication for over a week has played a huge part in all of that. Or not.

I have had naps, maybe I have slept too much. I don’t know.

I want a vacation.

I want to go somewhere quiet, with a super comfy bed, a huge pile of books and room service.

I want to forget all my troubles.

All the pressures and worries and bills.

I want my brain to shut up and stop telling me, repeatedly, stuff I already know.

I don’t want to take any more pain meds.

I want my stupid tooth to stop hurting.

Mostly I wish my birthday wasn’t only a few days away.

I am throwing a pity party.

I I I I I I I  I………me me me me me.

BooHoo.

Is there hope for tomorrow maybe?

K~

That is a blog post written earlier this week.

But I didn’t post it.

I felt it was too……boohooish.

But

I am feeling pretty much the same.

I wonder how it is possible to feel happy and sad

all at the same time.

I have this amazing wonderful family

they bring me so much joy and happiness

I love them fiercely.

 

Still.

I had a conversation early today

that dealt with quite a few things

going on right now

and it left me feeling heavy and worn.

And I have not been able to shake it.

So here I am.

It is surprisingly hard to

surround oneself with positive light

when all around swirls negative whispering.

How do you drown it out?

I am having difficulties this week

calming my soul

And yet,

There is always hope.

K~

P1100930

 

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