I am tired.
I am physically, emotionally, mentally worn out.
I think taking so much medication for over a week has played a huge part in all of that. Or not.
I have had naps, maybe I have slept too much. I don’t know.
I want a vacation.
I want to go somewhere quiet, with a super comfy bed, a huge pile of books and room service.
I want to forget all my troubles.
All the pressures and worries and bills.
I want my brain to shut up and stop telling me, repeatedly, stuff I already know.
I don’t want to take any more pain meds.
I want my stupid tooth to stop hurting.
Mostly I wish my birthday wasn’t only a few days away.
I am throwing a pity party.
I I I I I I I I………me me me me me.
Is there hope for tomorrow maybe?
That is a blog post written earlier this week.
But I didn’t post it.
I felt it was too……boohooish.
I am feeling pretty much the same.
I wonder how it is possible to feel happy and sad
all at the same time.
I have this amazing wonderful family
they bring me so much joy and happiness
I love them fiercely.
I had a conversation early today
that dealt with quite a few things
going on right now
and it left me feeling heavy and worn.
And I have not been able to shake it.
So here I am.
It is surprisingly hard to
surround oneself with positive light
when all around swirls negative whispering.
How do you drown it out?
I am having difficulties this week
calming my soul
There is always hope.