We have one computer open for use right now. One. And it has been miserable and wonderful all at the same time.
We moved you see.
All of one foot over to the left.
We built a house right next to the mobile home my large family has been living in since 2003. So many years of squishiness and learning to love one another in the dark and cramped days of winter, and winter is coming. So we made the move. The house is not quite finished. It needs a few things, but it has the necessities, heat, electricity and plumbing. The holy trinity.
So we packed up and moved a foot to the left and all of everything is sitting in my living room and making life cluttery and chaotic. And often, as we tear through boxes looking for things, messy.
The desktop computers have not been set up yet. And we don’t have a tv. And all of the books are packed away, except for a few small piles littering the upstairs playroom.
My children have become fans of homemade paper dolls and board games. This is awesome, truly it is, but sometimes, when I am trying to organize things or clean up yet another mess I want a cartoon for the children, or me. Or all of us. Wild Kratts or Martha. I miss sitting snuggled up on a rainy day watching something animated and munching on popcorn.
No. I miss the old, the predictable, the familiar.
I hate change, even wildly, amazing change. Right now I am completely alone. The children are all upstairs in their rooms and it is strange and different. I am so happy to be here of course. So excited for the many possibilities of my home, the plans I have to make it homey and comfy for my precious family.
I, in my crazy, anxious way, am sitting here sort of mourning the loss of my wretched and falling apart mobile home! I wouldn’t move back in if you paid me, but those walls held a lot of our life and now they are gone.
Have I mentioned how I abhor change?