We had a fantastic Christmas!
We had a Christmas story pageant at grandma and grandpa’s house Christmas Eve and it went very well, Katie was Mary and Piggybanks got to stand in for baby Jesus.
Christmas Eve the children opened there traditional gift of jammies from Grandma, who is now making close to 70 pairs of pajamas for all of her grandchildren! They gave me a beautiful set of butterfly earrings in memorial of Natalie. I love them.
We traditionally all pile into the girls room on Christmas eve, crashing on a few extra mattresses and chattering about trying to stay up and see Santa, never works through:P. Of course we all where up bright and early:D.
Sharyn and Gary came by nice and early to give the kids (and Joff and I) some presents and watch the kids open all there gifts. We put them to work trying to figure out how to get toys out of the packaging. Hard work that! It was nice having them come and share the children’s Christmas.
At one point Caleb ran and hid his face behind a pillow on the couch, when we asked him what was wrong he said “It is just too much!” he was feeling overwhelmed with all the toys and what to play with first! The soldiers or the dinos? Which one?!
Joff who has been working a ton of overtime, including working Christmas Eve and tonight, took a much needed nap. I baked up some bread and fudge and slipped Cindi’s ham into the oven.
We had dinner at grandma and grandpa’s house with Cindi and Dan’s family and of course ended the evening with a round of Ticket to ride.
A satisfying Christmas.
Especially as I got a ton of chocolate:D♥.
(Felicity lost The Fuzz, sadly she managed to escape her cage (still mystified on the how!) and although we do not know for certain we are pretty sure Wolfgang got her. It was a very sad day around here. Felicity is now the proud and somewhat worried pet owner of a male hamster, he is smaller, although not a dwarf hamster) He loves to burrow and his name is Squeakers, mostly because he looks slightly squirrely. We have taken extra precautions to ensure his safety. Mostly we are hoping his smaller size inhibits his accessing the top of the aquarium. We have a wire top, but The Fuzz managed to moved it somehow by climbing on top of her wheel and it had a lock on it! I give her credit for sheer genius! May you find a patch of carots and cabbage with lots of tunnels and live forever in peace The Fuzz.)
We are expecting.
As in having a baby:D.
I was so unsure about posting this, about sharing with anyone at all, I am just barely pregnant (5 weeks) and there are so many different things that can happen. After Natalie I was pretty sure that sharing the news after the baby was born would be the best idea. But as I was praying about it yesterday, I knew that I had to share it, that one of the most beautiful lessons Natalie taught me was to enjoy every minute I have with my children. And so I am sharing this now because I want every moment I have with this child to be one of happiness and excitement, I want everyone I know to be happy and excited for this child also.
I am trying so hard to not be afraid, to trust in the Lord.
When I found out, I was at first so unsure, for just a moment I remembered holding Natalie and the pain of losing her came back in waves.
All the uncertainty and questions I have been asking of the Lord since I lost Natalie have not gone away and this child will never replace her, but there is a certain peace in knowing that at least some of my prayers have been answered, if in a slightly unexpected way!
So I am excited and very, very tired:P. In the last several months I forgot how exhausting life is when you are pregnant, or the slight nausea, oh and the headaches! I do not seem to mind it so much though, funny how a different attitude can affect how you take life.
I feel very blessed.
It takes me all of a minute to edit any single photo that I take. This is something that I am very proud of, not only have my photoshop skills increased but my photography skills also. Get it right in camera and you are all set to go!
I am feeling thankful today.
At TOFW one of the presenters said, “You can choose to be strong or you can choose to be weak”. Simple but powerful.
Something I have been thinking about this past couple of days. Instead of the lovely week had all planned out, I feel like I woke up and was flung out of bed and I haven’t hit ground yet.
I can be strong.
I can be strong.
I am grateful for that strength, the strength I would not have known I had a year ago.
“For an impenetrable shield, stand inside yourself”
|~ Henry David Thoreau
I am not that strong, I will never be that strong!:D
Today was the first day of school for my babies and they where so excited. They worked really hard and even went to bed on time so they could get up and do it all again tomorrow!
We will see how long this lasts:D.
Instead of the regular old back to to school pictures, we tried something a bit different.
(Natalie would be 36 weeks this week. I saw the tiniest little baby in the store this morning. I wonder so many things about my Natalie. I need more time. I still wish I could hold her again. I am terrified of babies. I know that I would not be able to hold it together.)
Back to prepping for tomorrow……
Natalie was someone special for Felicity and now three months later she still figures largely in Felicity’s life.
We are on a different count down of sorts.
Felicity wrote this for Natalie,
You are sweeter then sugar
Brighter then the sun
Lighter then a feather
my silliest one.
She wrote this in July.
She sings all kinds of songs to Natalie, I will find her sitting and singing and she tells me simply that she hopes Natalie is listening.
I think that Natalie knows how much her big sister loves her.
Felicity isn’t upset, she is so happy that she has a sister tending to lost pets. She is so sure that Natalie is happy and safe.
In her own way Felicity has a way of healing open wounds.
I love my Lolly so.
1. We have a little outfit that we bought Natalie. Felicity got it out today and said “I bet Natalie would have looked so cute in this.”
2. There was a lady at the store today, she was a total stranger and very pregnant, she chatted at me for a bit all about her baby. She is due two days after my due date.
3. I went to a thrift store that I had not been in for a while and the girl who works there was very excited to let me know they had some new maternity clothes in.
4. Everett was wondering if Natalie’s favorite color would be yellow today.
5. There where like 20 new babies and 40 pregnant woman roaming around town today.
It wasn’t a bad day, but here at the end of the day I am feeling anxious, overwhelmed and sad.