Picture Post · Random

Question Everything February

My laptop broke. It broke, broke. Dead. Never going to turn on again. That happened back in…..December? It was a while ago. Anyway, I have felt bereft and sad over it. I don’t like borrowing Joffs because he has his set up all wrong, although he thinks its right, its not. But I have to use it sometimes because School, ugh though.

Anyway, the deep question that drove me to blog today.

How do you know when something is right? When making a decision, how do you know when you are making the right choice? Is it even possible to make a rational, logical decision?

February is full of decisions, lots going on. Trying to decide what I want to do with my life….I will be an old lady in six months, I am feeling the need to decide what I am going to be when I grow. Or should I grow up?

I am a queen procrastinator, I probably will still be deciding as I draw my last breath……

Cat/Baby Tax
Happiness · Holiday · Kids · Picture Post

Merry Christmas

We have had the most lovely Christmas yet. Yesterday, Christmas Eve, was a Sabbath and we attended sacrament which was full of beautiful words and joyous Christmas music. The congregation sang Joy to the World and I felt so happy, and everything was right and wonderful.


We made  peanut butter cookies and fudge for Santa Christmas Eve afternoon, we read a story, and attended our traditional Christmas Eve nativity at the A’s house, we had a pile of cousins all running around merrily shouting in anticipation of Christmas. eventually they were organized and we listened to Grandpa Atwater read the story of Christ’s birth.

There were Grandma PJs waiting us under the tree, our first Christmas present, and the NORAD tracker was eagerly watched.

When Katie, Alice, and Felicity were toddlers and we could not get them to sleep on Christmas Eve we began the tradition of all piling into the girls room for a Christmas Eve camp out. I threaten every year to quit and sleep in my own bed as the children never sleep, and I spend Christmas in (happy) exhaustion.

I gave in and as per usual the children were awake ALL NIGHT!


But today was fabulous, the children are happy, and I spent time curled in front of my fire watching the blizzard outside.

Christmas is almost over.  Bittersweet.

Merry Christmas.


I LOVE the view from my dining room
It is small and simple but the little Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus here are my favorite nativity that I put up.


Everyday · Picture Post

First Snow of the Winter

We have been having a warmer then average fall, while I have spied a strange and rather lonely looking flake or two, we have not had any real snow to speak of. Well, that was remedy last night. Just as we finished up some last minute yard and driveway tidy the first flakes began to fall, and as we tucked into some hot beef stew it was coming down and accumulating at a rapid pace.


Abby made her own match game. We played a hundred rounds. I never won.


college · Everyday · Holiday · Picture Post

The Christmas Purge

I am drowning in school and life.

This being my first fall semester, I am finding the last few weeks of school is seriously clashing with any and all holiday good cheer. I have a dozen assignments due but instead of dutifully chip-chipping away essays galore I am instead organizing the closets and clothing bins. I have scoured ceilings, sorted papers that had piled up on my side table, matched socks of all things. I have swept thirty times to day alone.

You see, the last bit of the semester is in the way of whatever manic cleaning demon possesses me every December.

I have had some time to consider why I feel the need to scrub the house and tidy every nook and cranny of the house every December since I can remember, I have chalked it up to feeling done with the clutter, nesting, and binge-watching Hoarders.

In actuality I believe it has more to do with the feeling of time slipping through my fingers, with less then thirty days of the year left, I can’t let 2017 slip away a dirty disheveled mess, it isn’t dignified or right. Plus I just feel like a new year should start with a clean slate, even a clean house. An empty canvas ready for new messes and chaotic clutter. Time to move that rotting apple core from behind the couch and make way for the cheese stick that is too come.

But all of this cleaning is coming at a price, and the price might well be a good grade.

Its compulsive, I promise myself I shall finish one essay and then I might bury my arms into a cupboard ready to merrily toss away expired tins of tomato soup whilst wearing my Santa hat and bobbing my head to Jingles Bells. I promise myself this lovely picture of domestic bliss and I head off in excitement, the essay untouched. No clue what the topic even is.

Ah well, I have fought it all day, and settled in my chair I begin to type, my eyes straying just the once to an empty mug on the coffee table, and then it is too late. I am up to take the offensive mug to the sink, on the way I grab a dirty sock that is dangling from a lamp shade, and a candy wrapper from in front of the stairs, once in front of the sink I count out the dishes (seven) and decide they must be done before they pile up! And then of course the washing machine is not running (heaven forbid!) and that must be filled, and the sheets in the dryer should be folded before they wrinkle………..

The essays will never be finished.


Good News · House · Kids · Picture Post · Uncategorized


The shell is completely finished. We have actually started the finish work in several parts of the house. Honestly I am so happy I could cry, it has been a long journey that at points had me wondering if I was going to live in a half finished house forever. Take this contrast, last winter I had my dining room in my living room, my family room was a drafty hall, the kids rooms were just sub floor so a lot of dust and what not fell through to the living room, we had a sixteen foot opening on one side of the house that was only covered by a large heavy tarp (surprisingly we did not freeze), and I had no kitchen. Literally, my stove and fridge were crammed into a hall behind the living room and we washed our dishes in the bathtub! It was fairly depressing to tell the truth, but we survived. This year we got the finish floors installed upstairs, moved the staircase (ya, we are crazy) built a brick alcove in the middle of the house for our woodstove (think Inglenook), finished the kitchen, and built the dining room! I have a fully functioning kitchen! And  a dining room! It is a wonderful, beautiful blessing. Our home is fully functioning and now we get to do the pretty and fun stuff. Hurray! We have a plan to have it completely finished by our 20th anniversary in 2020, I can actually see that happening, honestly I think we will be done before then. But I am pretty happy right now, I feel like I am living in a home instead of on a construction site for the first time since we started this crazy project. I will have to take pictures and share them next time.


Abby and Chantelle conducting a Halloween costume dry run / taken in the unfinished dining room


Animals · Everyday · Picture Post

The flu?

I am so tired! And I am hot, even though it is freezing, but if I take off my cozy robe I am freezing. And my head. Oh my head. I can’t think……I can’t afford to have the flu right now! Or whatever this is, I just can’t.

Aren’t my Guinea Hens adorable?

We have been  blessed with a mild October, and our woodstove is nearing installation. Hurray for cozy firesides, sitting around a warm  fire with the wind and snow blowing out of doors is one of my favorite aspects of winter, an opportunity to draw my family close.


We are nearing the end of twin month, Elli will be 11 on Saturday and I have yet to take pics of the two of them, life only gets busier it seems, but I am grateful for a full life, and a wonderful family.

Now to find a way to ward off the impending illness I feel is creeping up on me.

Bad flu, bad!



Everyday · Kids · Picture Post · Uncategorized


Because I have nothing to do, certainly not school work, or homeschooling to tend to, or piles and piles of laundry, because dinner does not need to be made and because there are absolutely NO dirty dishes in the sink, I find myself here.

I have been drawn over the last couple of months, flirting with words, dancing with my thoughts, unsettled and uncertain. There is a change, a shift. These things make me antsy.

And so here I am.

With words, stuttering brain.

Well now.

It is so grey today, I rejoice though, I love cloudy days. The children are about, the husband is at work.

I have been contemplating time, how there are so many ways to measure it, in the growing stack of clothes to take to goodwill, they have grown out of 4T, and the boy is a 10-12T. I borrow my daughters shoes. There is space, ever-increasing, but the cupboards must be full at all times. Teens eat a lot.  They go away, and they don’t need me. I need them though. I got lost in the diaper aisle trying to figure out what to buy a friend, I held up onsies  and marveled at the tiny size, was my 16-year-old ever that small? My baby is skin and bones, she is long and lanky. She needs me……..to make her cookies and read her books. I can never let her grow older. I already know I have lost them all. And here we have another summer slipping into her red and golds. Another childhood summer lost.

I have so many more years, oh I know, I know. I have time……but I know longer assume  I have it all. I can see the change, I can feel the drift. And I relish every day, every single sweet day with these eight beautiful people who call me mother.

I am back, to record that my sons just biked down the drive swords in hand, my babies are playing dress up with stuffed lovies on the trampoline, my beautiful teens are listening to music and drawing……these are the things that make up a beautiful life.

My family are my all, and that perspective is what shapes my heart.P1100399.jpg